You fall inlove and it doesnt work out, and you think that it'll never happen again but it does. Believe me. It does. In the strangest of places..=)

inspired

Its been awhile I havent been writting in this blog. I wanted to write but i never really got the time now adays.. hehe.. Anyway, I just want to write this particular event that happened to me recently.. I was having dinner with my other family in dublin *Tito vic n Tita apol* that night when tito suddenly started teasing me about boys AGAIN. As usual, he is funny on his own way and ofcourse our discussion got deeaper. And by the end of the night, what really struck me the most was when he told me, i quote "You hold your own DESTINY*. I was lying on my bed that night thinking about that statement, as i keep thinking I suddenly went to remembering all the things ive done with my life right now. So much drama that happened this year, relationships, friendships, family issues, etc. And for that I am thankful that throughout these roller coaster adventure of my life I still have God with me..=) It made me smile and laugh that night how silly might have been but yeah, I was laughing at myself.. There are some people have come and gone in my life, But HIM nver leaves me.. And I like that.=)

LIFE AS I KNOW IT..

I finally know what i really want.. *i think i know what i want anyway LOL*.. After this long wait of wanting a closure from someone special to me, it happened. I am happy because we ended up in good terms. I thought after the drama that happened last week it would never be the same again. Part of me ofcourse is sadden that we wont be spending our time with each other or even knowing that i am not the special girl anymore. But im still grateful that we are friends.. Yes. we decided to become friends no more than that. Its better you see, we are both scared that we might get hurt again if we go further than that, I especially am scared to get hurt again. And i knw that if we pursue our feelings for each other now, it might not end up good as it is still too soon to go back. Hanging out with him the past week was like looking into a photograph.. remembering the good memories that happened betweeen us, even the tough times we had, thinking about it is still made me smile.=) I still cant believe for all the things that happened, even the latest drama with him, I cant still say or even act to hate him. I find myself wondering why on earth dont feel any resentment towards him even thinking of all things he had done to me. I wanted to be bitter, to be angry with him, to hate him.. but i cant.. weird huh?!. I actually told him about this when we talked, I told him he is a tumour of my life.. haha!. I still worry tho about him. I know he wants to have fun with his life right now especially that he is still young but I worry that he might ended up in a wrong crowd.. I guess all i can do now for him now is to pray that he is always safe..=) Before we bid our good night, we are both sound happy and agreed not to close our door for each other.. We both dont know what we are heading in our lives but aleast knowing he'll be there if i need someone and I'll be there if he needs someone..=)

To conclude this post, all what i am trying to say is MOVE ON.. he's just a chapter of my life in the past. But I wont close the book, just turning the page..;)