I finally know what i really want.. *i think i know what i want anyway LOL*.. After this long wait of wanting a closure from someone special to me, it happened. I am happy because we ended up in good terms. I thought after the drama that happened last week it would never be the same again. Part of me ofcourse is sadden that we wont be spending our time with each other or even knowing that i am not the special girl anymore. But im still grateful that we are friends.. Yes. we decided to become friends no more than that. Its better you see, we are both scared that we might get hurt again if we go further than that, I especially am scared to get hurt again. And i knw that if we pursue our feelings for each other now, it might not end up good as it is still too soon to go back. Hanging out with him the past week was like looking into a photograph.. remembering the good memories that happened betweeen us, even the tough times we had, thinking about it is still made me smile.=) I still cant believe for all the things that happened, even the latest drama with him, I cant still say or even act to hate him. I find myself wondering why on earth dont feel any resentment towards him even thinking of all things he had done to me. I wanted to be bitter, to be angry with him, to hate him.. but i cant.. weird huh?!. I actually told him about this when we talked, I told him he is a tumour of my life.. haha!. I still worry tho about him. I know he wants to have fun with his life right now especially that he is still young but I worry that he might ended up in a wrong crowd.. I guess all i can do now for him now is to pray that he is always safe..=) Before we bid our good night, we are both sound happy and agreed not to close our door for each other.. We both dont know what we are heading in our lives but aleast knowing he'll be there if i need someone and I'll be there if he needs someone..=)
To conclude this post, all what i am trying to say is MOVE ON.. he's just a chapter of my life in the past. But I wont close the book, just turning the page..;)
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